Stop playing spiritual dress up

Start acting like a spiritual leader

Stop dressing up to convince us you’re spiritual.

I don’t care how many spirit staffs you have, how often you wear a fur cloak, how many spiritual tools you carry around with you, how many long flowy pieces of clothing you dress up in.

The way you dress does not convince me of how spiritual you are.

If you have to get up in the morning and go through an elaborate ritual of making yourself up to step into your spiritual guide/leader/healer persona, then here’s the truth you need to hear: you are not ready to step into that role. Put on the cloak of humility and step back.

Spirituality in the age of social media has become annoyingly performative. If you can put on the spiritual costume and speak the word-salad language of spiritual enlightenment (where you’re saying a lot of words with very little meaning), then you’re an online spiritual influencer. And I’m here to call for this nonsense to stop.

Spirituality is not an act. It takes more than one (or ten) medicine ceremonies to become a healer or shamanic practitioner. It should take way more than a few weekends of workshops to become an energy healer (looking at you reiki with your weekend-long workshops that are insufficient to teach anyone how to hold clear, clean, highly integral healing space). It takes years of practice, dedication, and often literal blood, sweat and tears to learn how to share spiritual wisdom, healing, and leadership from a place of embodied truth.

We’ve swung the pendulum too far: from a world where spirituality was fringe and new age was weird, we now live in a world where spirituality is the latest lifestyle trend and new age is a confusing jumble of psychedelics, goddess ceremonies, moon worshipping, crystal collecting, and everyone is a spiritual healer or leader or shaman or practitioner of some kind.

We are due for the pendulum to swing back to hopefully more balance now. So let’s connect back into what actual, balanced, spirituality looks like.

First off, it looks like living a life connected to spirit, no dressing up required.
I show up to a large majority of my sessions in comfy clothes because it doesn’t matter if I “look” like a shamanic practitioner. It matters if I’m comfortable and grounded enough in my body and spirit to actually lead the work I’m there for. I have a cloak that I put on maybe 5% of the time, generally if I’m leading a really significant ceremony of some kind. I do not paint my face, ever (because I have no non-performative reason to do so). I do not walk around like a caricature of a shamanic practitioner. I just live life as someone walking the shamanic path. I listen to spirit and my body. I honor the earth and the ancestors. I practice womb-led living. And I don’t need to dress up to do it.
(Side note: the people I’ve met who are the most outwardly “dressed up spiritual” have been, as a whole, the least integral, embodied practitioners).

Second, it looks like living a life of less consumption. Do you really need another fifteen crystals to make your chakras more aligned? Do you really need to buy ten more books about the goddess and self help? Do you really need more stuff to clutter up your spiritual closet, or do you need to perhaps spend more time sitting with yourself and your connection to spirit? Do you perhaps need to consider allocating some of the resources you’re spending on performance towards a teacher or guide who is walking the walk and can guide you forward, instead of lining the pockets of yet another manifestation guru for a money making ritual?
Living a spirit-led life is not about consuming or having more. It’s about learning to set down the unnecessary and listen to your soul. And I’m not saying you can’t be abundant and live a spiritual life. I’m just saying that abundance isn’t about how many spiritual tools you have or how well-fed your ego is.

Third, it looks like being attuned to the 3D physical world, not bypassing it. You are not more spiritual because you don’t read the news and can’t handle other people’s emotions. You are not more spiritual because you have endless boundaries and find everyone around you unrelatable. These things are symptoms of bypassing the real world. Living a life aligned with spirit does not mean you bypass the real world - it means you are deeply connected to the real world AND you are connected to spirit.
If you can’t stay present in the world and reality that all of humanity lives in, because it’s too hard or low vibe, then you’re not spiritual, you’re bypassing.

Fourth, it looks like letting go of judgement. Stop judging things as low vibe or low versus high frequency. Stop judging others for the actions they make that you wouldn’t make - as long as those actions are not objectively hurting anyone. We are not here to be perfectly neutral and tolerant. We are also not here to be judgey and annoying. Find the balance.

Fifth, it looks like finding your integrity and living it every single day. Don’t let others sway you out of your integrity. Know who you are and what you stand for, and what you don’t. And walk that walk every single day.

Sixth, don’t trade religion for spirituality. Or rather, don’t make spirituality your new religion. No dogma. No worshipping. No gurus. No judging others for not following your path.

Seventh, no one is more of a leader for your life than you are. Have spiritual teachers you can ask for guidance. Have trusted people you turn to when you need help or reflection. But don’t give away your leadership to anyone else. That’s why I subtitled this post “start acting like a spiritual leader” because if you’re living a non-performative spiritual life, then you’re a leader in some way, shape, or form.

And finally, put down the costumes and tools and go discover your spiritual connection without the props. See how authentic and real it is without them. Because if you need the props to connect, then odds are you’re connecting from ego, not from integrity.