Contemplating Stories of Self
Let's talk stories.
We all have stories that we tell ourselves. Stories about who we are, what we've been through, what is good about ourselves, and what is wrong with us.
We have stories that are conscious, and ones that are unconscious. We have stories we're aware of, and just as many stories that we aren't aware of. The ones we're not aware of tend to run our lives, our beliefs, and keep us stuck in situations or circumstances that maybe we don't really like.
In shamanic soul retrieval work, I do a lot of story work. Soul retrievals are basically about finding what stories your soul is stuck in, and doing whatever work needs to be done to help the soul be able to let go of those stories.
In other words, shamanic healing is deeply related to healing old stories. As I tell apprentices when we start work together, shamanic work is story work. We find the stories running on a loop in your conscious and unconscious mind, and the ones running on a loop for your soul and ancestry, and together we rewrite those stories so you can reclaim who you truly are.
So anyway, because so much of the healing work I help clients through is related to story work, I contemplate the nature of our stories often.
Recently, I had a wonderful experience in regards to my own stories.
I was on a girl's weekend trip, however I didn't know most of the women who were there at the beginning of the weekend. And I found that this was a perfect time to play with my own stories and how I present myself.
And so I played with what it felt like to bring none of my background story into my self presentation. I noticed my old stories had dropped away and did not feel like being shared or brought up at all.
And it felt SO good. In the past, I have definitely felt like “I won't be seen if I don't share the basics of my story with others". And so, in the past, when sharing circles happened, I would offer my own story to the fold.
But what I noticed this time was that I didn't feel any need to do this. And here's why: because the stories of my past are digested.
Who I am, why I am here, why I do what I do, the stories that answer these questions are at peace. My body has metabolized them, my mind has laid them to rest, and there was no need to share them.
I remember the first time I recorded a podcast episode about my journey with Lyme disease. This was in the summer of 2020, for the first iteration of my (now deleted) podcast which I started with a sister. In that episode, I talked publicly, for the first time, about my journey with dis-ease. It was such an emotional experience, and I remember crying as I edited the podcast and listening to it over and over to hear myself, to digest my own story.
When our stories aren't digested, when they're still looping, we need to say them, to hear them, to have them acknowledged.
When our stories are digested, we don't need to say them anymore. They feel at peace within us. They don't show up in our minds and keep repeating. They don't show up when we get triggered (or they only do as a small little reminder, like the ghost of a wave).
When our stories are digested, we are free. Especially when we're talking about old, painful stories. When they're digested, we no longer carry them in the same way. They're not heavy in our bodies or stomachs any longer.
It was interesting to notice the threads of story weaving through the weekend. To notice stories that were being shared so that they could be further digested, witnessed and healed in the space of sisterhood. It was truly beautiful.
And it made me so grateful to do story work. To understand the stories we hold and how to work with them and heal them.
And it made me want to share with you, to remind you:
You are not your stories.
You are not what you have been through or who you were.
You are bigger than your stories. Our stories are just pieces of what make us who we are.
Because who you are is a soul. Who you are is a part of the divine consciousness and a part of the divine plan.
And your stories, even if they feel big and all consuming, are not the biggest definition of who you are.
And if you're ready to digest those stories and find your freedom from the past, then read on for some story-digesting ideas you can try!
Ways to digest your stories by yourself:
Grab a voice recorder (or use the app on your phone) and speak your undigested story out. Speak your story just for yourself. Do not try to water it down or make it digestible for others, like you may do if you were telling your story to a friend. Speak all the gnarly, thorny, sticky truths of your story into your voice recorder, letting your voice free from where it’s been holding your story in.
Write your story down. No holding back, just share the story that needs to come through and be written. Write for yourself only, don’t write like anyone else will ever read this story. You’re writing to help yourself digest.
Take a walk or hike, and find a place in nature to sit with a tree, or a pond/lake/stream/river. Tell your story out loud to the nature elements who are supporting you. Allow nature to hold space for you, and reflect back to you the support that is always available to you.
Ways to digest your stories with support:
Reach out to a professional for support. This could be a therapist or someone like me, who does shamanic soul and story healing work.
Invite close friends into a story circle with you. Make sure that the boundaries are very clearly set and that everyone knows and has agreed to coming together to share stories that are ready to be digested. Set boundaries as needed about what type of stories the group is capable of holding space for during the circle.
Find a group mentorship or helping program where you have space to share when you need (for example, my womb school is like this, where there is space to share during our weekly calls!).
Digesting our stories is a huge part of healing. If you’re on a healing journey (which let’s be honest, aren’t we all?) then doing story work and learning to digest anything that is sitting in your body, is going to be a game changer. Try some of the suggestions here and let me know if you feel a little more digested with one or more of your stories after!